How to save his life
by Portgas D. Farra
Summary: Yuu Kanda has it all, a girlfriend who is willing Lenalee , popularity, and looks. His life seems complete. That is until Daisya comes to school with a gun and ends his life. Now Daisya is dead and the whole world is pretending like nothing happened? But Kanda can't ignore it. Days later he sees a kid being made fun of Allen and he thinks what if...
1. Chapter 1

This is something really important to me, like extremely. What if this happened to you? What would you do? What can you do?

Disclaimer: I don't own To save a life or D. Gray man nor will I ever. Sadface.

ENJOY!

* * *

Kanda walked down the halls of Black Order High with Lenalee displayed proudly wrapped around his left arm. He never noticed Daisya slip by.

_**NO ONE SITS WITH HIM HE DOESN'T FIT IN...**_

"Dude, shut up," he snickered at his friend's in depth detail of his Saturday night with some ckick. He didn't look when Daisya stopped in the middle of the crowded hall.

_**BUT WE FEEL LIKE WE DO WHEN WE MAKE FUN OF HIM...**_

"Kanda, you're coming to the party tomorrow right?" yelled a vulgar perv always caught spying in the girls locker room.

_**CUZ' YOU WANT TO BELONG, DO YOU GO ALONG, CUZ' HIS PAIN IS THE PRICE PAID FOR YOU TO BELONG**_

"He's got a lot to do tomorrow boys," Lenalee smirked looking up through her hair at Kanda, trying to look as seductive as ever. Kanda smirked down at her.

_**IT'S NOT LIKE YOU HATE HIM OR WANT HIM TO DIE,..**_

Kanda didn't notice Daisya glance towards him, a glance filled with a last hope.

_**BUT MAYBE HE GOES HOME AND THINKS SUICIDE...**_

Not one glance towards him, a moment in time, and that is when Daisya made his choice.

_**OR HE COMES BACK TO SCHOOL WITH A GUN AT HIS SIDE...**_

Kanda didn't even notice when Daisya pulled out a gun, not...until the first shot was fired. Shrieks and cries of terror swam through the hallways, all eyes directing towards Daisya, with a gun pointed high. Kanda finally noticed him. Daisya, Kanda's friend since grade school, now stood trembling with the threat of a gun in his hand. Daisya, on the other hand, no longer noticed Kanda.

Kanda looked at his friend in confused terror as the boy next to him sneered, "it's that freaky bell boy."

The thrill of terror in his fellow students eyes gave Daisya a strange sense of pleasure. '_They're finally paying attention._' He thought. Every eye was finally on him. Finally, he was noticed. And at the same time he was forgotten. Lenalee clung to Kanda for dear life as she started to sob. Normally, Kanda would have comforted her, or shielded her, but no...he was too busy staring at Daisya. He looked evil. Without thinking Kanda got to his feet, despite his girlfriends protest, and walked over to Daisya.

Daisya looked at Kanda and for a long moment of time it seemed that neither one of them knew how to speak. "Daisya," Kanda breathed reaching out for the gun. Daisya froze. "Don't," Kanda whispered, his eyes peering deep into Daisya's eyes. Daisya never really looked back. Everything around him tingled and felt like a dream. A nightmare. One he had to wake up from. He acknowledged Kanda's presence, but never really saw him. When Kanda talked, Daisya merely heard hums. '_God end my suffering'_ he thought to himself before opening his mouth. Kanda froze and stared at his friend, waiting for his words. Daisya's dead eyes looked into Kanda's one last time as he whispered. "You're too late"

_**ANY KINDNESS FROM YOU MIGHT OF SAVED HIS LIFE...**_

And the gun was pulled to Daisya's head, with a swift pull of the trigger, and Daisya fell. His blood and brain matter splattered onto a stunned Kanda.

_**HEROS ARE MADE WHEN WE MAKE A CHOICE!**_


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Kanda!" Daisya was running full speed at his blacked haired friend. A small bell dangled from Daisya's neck, it was a gift he got that morning from his mother. The boy had nappy brown hair and marks under his eyes. He liked them. Even though all the other kids made fun of him for them. He didn't seem to mind. Kanda stood up just in time to have Daisya's body slam into his. They fell to the ground with a loud.

"What the heck?!" Kanda scowled pushing Daisya off.

Daisya just laid there smiling. He extends his hand to the wild brunet, smiling despite himself. The two boys stand up, wiping off dirt and dust from their bodies. Kanda glances at Daisya from the side. He watches the other boy inspect his bell, making sure no scratches were made. He smiled brightly, satisfied with his results and turns to Kanda. The toothy grin was intended as a happy gesture, full of fun and adventure, but it made Kanda frown. His lip was busted open wide. Dried blood was caked to the wound, it glistened as he wet it with his tongue. Daisya notices Kanda's stare and gives him a shrug.

Daisya was fine.

"I'm misunderstood in my lifetime," he jokingly sighed throwing his arms behind his head.

Kanda shock his head and walked to his best friend, reaching out and capturing the boys chin in his hand. He turned Daisya's head to get a better look at the side of his face. Just as Kanda had feared. On the side of Daisya's left cheek was a blistering purple bruise. It was swollen and the skin was prickled. Which meant it was fresh.

"Who did this to you?" Kanda asked calmly, despite the anger boiling inside.

The other little kids always beat up on him. They never showed him mercy either. Daisya never fought back either. He took it. That made Kanda sizzle as well. He couldn't comprehend not fighting back. The frighting memory of Daisya's first beating suddenly flashed into Kanda's head. Daisya had dragged himself back home with a broken arm, several torn ligaments in his right leg, a collapsed rib cage, a swollen eye, and dislocated collar bone. And on top of all that they cut the words freak into his back with a rustic object. After bringing a unconscious Daisya to the hospital, Kanda had nearly beaten the boys responsible two thirds to death. Never again would they be able to walk let alone, beat up on Daisya again. Kanda gave himself a mental shake. He didn't want to think about that time again.

"Hey, Yu, want to play exorcist?" Daisya asked, his head still awkwardly tilted to the side.

Kanda released Daisya's face and smiled.

"You play the akuma," Kanda shouted running away.

Daisya stared for a moment then it clicked.

"HEY, KANDA, EXORCIST DON'T RUN FROM AKUMA!" he shouted chasing him.

The two boys ran across the empty lot they met up in out to the neighborhood. Kanda laughed as he watched Daisya struggling to keep up. The brown headed boy wasn't very fast at all. And to think he wanted to be an exorcist, he'd die first.

"You gotta run a whole lot faster than that, Akuma," Kanda teased.

Daisya panted out gasps of air as he came to a stop. Kanda merely smirked continuing to run backwards. Teasing Daisya was so much fun. Daisya looked up, his eyes glassy. Suddenly, Daisya's expression went from exhaustion to fear.

"KANDA," Daisya screeched between gasps, "CAR!"

The world suddenly started moving as if it were in slow motion. Kanda's eyes fell on to the car just as his feet slipped. Kanda began falling to the ground as the cars approach advanced. The wind escaped his lungs, chills ran up his spine, and he was blinded by bright lights. He hit the ground with a light thud and heard a nasty "clang" to the left of him. He waited. The world seemed to be muffled in a soundless barrier, he could hear the zoned out panicked voice of man. Had he been hit? No, he was sure he didn't feel contact of any sort. He forced his eyes to focus. He was on the ground. He was sure of that. But where was the car? It wasn't in front of him.

"SOMEONE CALL AN AMBLIANCE!" He heard a women scream.

Strange, she didn't sound close. Kanda tried to sit up, feeling a burning were road burn had formed on his arm. It was going in a side to side motion on his arm. Definitely not what you would expect road burn to look like if you were hit from head on.

"Kid, are you OK?!" a man suddenly hovering over Kanda shrieked.

Kanda looked up to tell him it was fine, he was a fast healer. That's when he saw it. Daisya laid in the road in front of the car that was about to hit Kanda a few seconds ago.

"Daisya?!" Kanda went pale. '_He pushed me out of the way!'_

Blood surrounded Daisya's head. A women stood hovering over him with her cellphone clicked open. She was crying hysterically. Kanda could hear the 911 operator say, "Help is on the way ma'am stay calm." In feeble attempts to swallow her cries she held her breath lightly singing to herself.

"Kid, what's your name?!" The man asked forcefully dragging Kanda's attention away from Daisya.

"Help him," Kanda whispered lightly.

"W-what?" the man asked leaning towards Kanda.

Kanda's fist balled up into the man's shirt aggressively pulling him down to Kanda's level. "**HELP HIM NOW!"** He snarled.


	3. Chapter 3

Ok this is short but I'm stuck on the fight scene. I'll update soon. PM me if you have ideas please.

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That was eight years ago. Daisya was lucky to survive, let alone walk away with a just slight head trauma. Kanda let out a heavy sigh as his eyes took in the funeral from afar. He felt awkward and uncomfortable around the people Daisya and Him once knew. The crowd was shrouded of despair, each solemnly displaying black cloth. Yet no one cried. Of all the people at Daisya's funeral, Kanda was the only one who seemed to care. Not even his classmates, or fellow students were here. The crowd started to disperse, the young and old conversed lightly, their conversation meeting Kanda's ears. The young man frowned. _'So no one really cares, huh?'_

All except a tall roundish man with ratty hair and huge spectacles who was sobbing over the grave as everyone else walked away. Simply perplexed, Kanda observed the man pull out a sketch pad and start vigorously scribbling something down. After a few moments the man seemed pleased with his work and held it to the sun. Kanda watched in engrossed perplexity as he lite the paper on fire and let it burn out over the grave. And just like everyone else, he left.

It was Kanda's turn now. He cautiously approached the grave, feeling unease as the name came into view. A picture of Daisya laid flat against the tomb, in almost a taunting gloat. _'Why...just what were you thinking?! Daisya!' _Kanda felt his throat start to burn. _'I'm so not gonna cry...Stupid fool' _Kanda growled to himself. _'Why didn't you just listen to me and give me the gun' _

A cool breeze swayed across the grass adding to the lonely affect Kanda suddenly felt. Alone. Was Daisya...alone? Kanda shook his head furiously. _'Stupid idiot could have come to me at any time! WHEN HAVE I EVER REJECTED HIM!_

Another chill ran up Kanda's spin as a small voice reminded him in almost a mockingly sweet voice. _**'What about freshman year?'**_


	4. Chapter 4

The basket ball game was pointless. They lost by 50 points, the players got into a fist fight, and worst of all now Daisya was throwing up. Terrific. Very carefully, a ninth grade Kanda tried to lead Daisya outside before the crowd of people came rushing out. A strategy that failed. Before Kanda could think "Oh Crap", he and Daisya were rushed against the doors of the gym.

This is why Kanda didn't like school events. Too many morons. The two boys finally made their way out of the deranged crowd, miraculously surviving, as Daisya headed to some bushes to..um..yeah.

BLARGH!

Kanda tried to stand behind Daisya so no one would notice the smaller boy heaving. What the heck did he eat? It took all his strength, but Kanda managed to retain his dinner. He watched the crowd disperse, drowning out Daisya's gags, noticing someone in particular. Lenalee Lee. '_God, she was a looker. Her eyes are so cheerful and her hair is so beautiful.' _Kanda stopped himself right there. Lenalee was pretty and nice, but her insane older brother was said to have made wallets out of her ex-boyfriends skin. Kanda shuddered and looked her way again. This time Lenalee was staring at Kanda. He froze. She gave him a shy smile and started walking over time him.

In what seemed like forever she finally stood in front of him, looking oh-so-gorgeous in a light blue blouse complimented by a short jean skirt.

"Hi," she breathed extending her hand. Kanda took it in pleasured shock forgetting to greet her back. She giggled at his amazement. Kanda could feel the blood rushing to his face, a warm blush threatening to betray his cheeks. She made him melt like butter. Wait...why was she talking to him? _It must be a prank. _He thought to himself. He glanced over her shoulder. Her friends were staring in equal amazement.

"So.." Lenalee's sweet voice pulled Kanda away from the other girls, " I was wondering if you would like to go to a party with me tonight?"

Kanda just looked puzzled, which made Lenalee frown.

"Unless you don't want to," Disappointment in her voice.

Kanda looked at Daisya. The boy was still hunched over gagging. He looked back at Lenalee with question.

"Can Daisya come too?" He asked, trying to sound emotionless.

Lenalee frowned again, then looked at Daisya.

"Well, there isn't really room for him in the car." she began.

Suddenly, it clicked. Daisya wasn't welcome. He was weird. None of the other kids liked him. He was an outcast. But Kanda wasn't. Lenalee Lee was asking Yu Kanda to a party. He was liked.

He turned to see Daisya sitting Indian style on the pavement clutching his stomach.

"Gimme a sec," Kanda sighed, leaving Lenalee to go talk with Daisya.

Though Daisya was sick he was still in high spirits. He looked up at Kanda and was ranting away.

"Sorry about this, I'll get better, honest, so are ya excited about tonight? They're having a whole exorcist marathon tonight on fox. We can order a pizza and stay up till 3 in the morning."

Kanda felt the guilt build in his stomach.

"Actually Daisya there's a party tonight and..." he began as a excited Daisya cut him off.

"Our first High School Party? SCORE!" He cheered.

Kanda fell silent. He almost chocked when Daisya asked, "So where's it at?"

Kanda looked back at Lenalee, who was growing impatient.

"Actually, Daisya," Kanda sighed looking back at Daisya, "you weren't invited."

Daisya's smile disappeared as he thought about it. "oh," he huffed, "Well, we'll still have fun tonight right, Kanda?"

Kanda couldn't look him in the eyes.

"Well, I kinda wanted to go," Kanda grimmaced.

Daisya's heart fell. He rose to his feet very shakily and smiled wearily.

"Oh, um yeah ok, I'll see you tomorrow then?"

Kanda shook his head. "Dude, definitely"

He turned away walking to Lenalee shouting to Daisya, "See ya" before leaving with her.

Daisya watched, his heart tearing apart.

This was the first time Kanda turned his back on Daisya.


	5. Chapter 5

_So I noticed I haven't been making a disclaimer on any of these so here it is: I do not take credit for D. Gray-man, I am merely writing a "if-it-was-like-this" sort of deal. Thank you_

* * *

Kanda stood over Daisya's grave on that rainy afternoon. He was dressed in all black and had come alone after all the other mourners had left. Remembering about the past, Kanda suddenly felt empty.

'This is all my fault.' Kanda thought as his mind raced through the gun scene again. Lenalee's face was in true terror, all his friends sneering and sheltering only themselves, and Daisya. He looked horrified; no he looked like he needed a friend.

'AND I WASN'T THERE!' Kanda scowled. This entire time Kanda had just walked by Daisya, ignored Daisya, let kids make fun of Daisya, Daisya who was his supposed "best friend". Daisya. Daisya. DAISYA. Kanda crumbled to the ground in self-loathing. He knew this was his fault. Even if everyone else said it wasn't, he knew better.

"Such a loss, a young talented exorcist he would have made," spoke a voice from behind. Kanda's head jerked back allowing his eyes to fix upon Tiedoll, who wore his usual attire. He was Kanda and Daisya's old art teacher back at the middle school. In his hand he had a piece of parchment with a city carefully drawn into it. Kanda dragged his arm fiercely across his face trying to cover his crying face. He would not be caught crying, especially by his old teacher.

"It's been some time since we've seen each other, Kanda," Tiedoll spoke sweetly. He walked over to Kanda slowly taking his time and allowing the boy to frantically pull himself back together. A closer look at the picture in Tiedoll's hand and Kanda saw it was Daisya's home town.

"I remember when you two would go around and play exorcist, the laughs you shared." Tiedoll said grimly.

"That was a long time ago." Kanda scowled sourly.

"Indeed," Tiedoll looked at Kanda a long moment before continuing, "but time does heal all wounds."

"What are you doing here?" Kanda frowned.

"Paying my respect to a former student, but the better question is; what are you doing here, Kanda?"

"….Pitying myself…"Kanda was on the verge of tears again, but no way was he going to cry in front of anyone, that would be weak.

"Feeling regret?"

"Daisya was a fool," Kanda huffed, "What would be a good excuse for suicide?"

"To Daisya, it was the only way out." Tiedoll raised the picture to the hidden sun. "Much like the seasons, life changes, we all have to deal with the cold reality of winter…"

He raised a lighter to the picture and lite it. The small flame soon engulfed the entire paper, licking over the carefully detailed pencil curves of the landscape. Tiedoll remained silent until the entire sheet had burned up, then he turned to Kanda and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. "But, you know Kanda, after the grim winter comes the brightness of spring pushes through the clouds."

"All I see is overcast," Kanda answered grimly.

"I'm sorry to here that, Kanda," is all Tiedoll really could say.

"Thanks, Tiedoll, but I think I should be going now." Kanda sighed pushing the larger man's hand off of his shoulder. "It was nice to see you again, though."

Tiedoll merely nodded as Kanda walked from the grave yard, distancing himself from yet another friend.

* * *

Kanda wanted to distance himself from his past as much as he could. No Daisya, no Tiedoll, he wanted to be free from it all. Tonight he was supposed to take Lenalee to a party at Road's place. He was hopeing that it would be just what he needed to just get back to his life. Suddenly the shrill cry of a phone went off in the next room.

'That must be Lenalee!' He rushed to the phone in a hurry, forgetting his shirt. He snatched the phone from the reciever and shoves it to his ear breathlessly answering.

"Hey, are you coming to pick me up or not?" Kanda could tell she was fixing her hair and craddling the phone on her cheek.

"Yeah, be there in a bit," Kanda said throughing on his shirt.

* * *

"Kanda!" David called from behind the bar. "Beer Pong King!"

Kanda flashed a dangerous smile as he walked into Road's house with Lenalee under his arm. She was wearing a low cut top and a jean skirt that was, as usual, showing off a lot of leg. Not that Kanda wanted to complain. This was were she was best at home, surrounded by people and the center of attention. Kanda only helped her ego.

"Hail to the King!" Skin cheered raising his cup to Kanda as he passed.

"That's right, so get your ass out of my way," Kanda scowled playfully.

"I'm gonna go dance," Lenalee smiled seductively leaving him with the other guys.

"Yo, Kanda, your never gonna believe this," David laughed motioning Kanda over.

"What did your sorry ass do now?" Kanda huffed.

"There's this kid who is like a exorcist freak or something in my history class right?" He began, "I sent him a fake email saying there's a exorcist expo here tonight, dress appropriately."

"He's on his way here right now dressed up in some getup." Skin added.

"You did what?" Kanda breathed feeling a sudden stab in his heart. Just then the doorbell chimmed and all grew deathly quiet.

"Show time," Kanda heard David say.

* * *

_I usually write short chapters, and I don't update often. I'm sorry guys, ideas don't come that fast to me._


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